Where do we fit in?

I have been plauging my mind the past few nights trying to see something that may not be there. I dont know really what my place is in the world right now. I know that as a Christian, sometimes there is no place at all, but I feel like there are somethings that just dont fit with the way I feel right now. I know that there are some parts of me that just seemed right before, but with the immense changes that I have been experiencing, it seems like maybe I have been trying to delete too much of the man I used to be. I have been trying to strip away parts of me that were not ment to be taken. I think there are human flaws that are a contradiction to who Christ wants us to be, but because they are so innate to us as human beings, they are just some of those things that we should be regretful of, but not that we should stubbornly try to alter. Some flaws are nessasery for going on in life. I believe that although God spoke to Adam and Eve with complete knowelege of what could happen, it was nessacery for them to mess up, and although they should be regretful, the continuance of existance depended on that mistake, so I can hardly feel as though that event was not ment to happen. And I think right now, I feel a lot like Eve probably did at the end of her life. I think that she probably looked back at the events that had occured, and she was sorry for not honoring her father's every wish, but I think that she probably saw things from a different view. Any of you out there who have kids can probably identify, especially if you were unmarried when you had sex. Yes, fornication is sinful, but the life that was brought forth, somewhat changes your view on the entire situation.
Right now, I dont know what I would call my sexuallity, and I am regretful of the pain that I am sure that I am causing my heavenly father, but I am not seeing the situation from the same view point. I do feel as though I am a completely new man in the name of God, however there are parts of my life that I feel are somewhat destined to be sinful. I dont know if that makes sence or not, but lately I have been ignoring every thing that I have learned in my life and tryed to start over, but I dont think that is what I was supposed to do. I believe that I learned these things for a reason. And being gay has taught me countless things, and I am very proud of the things that I have seeked out and learned. This knowelege is like my bastard child. Though it was attained in a very unconventional way, it means more to me than I have words to say.
I need a lot of prayer guys, I am really really going through some heavy stuff right now, and I am having trouble deceiffering what is real from what isnt. So keep me in your prayers.

Jeremy