Who am I?

So I have been trying to figure myself out quite a bit lately, and all I have been able to gather is that I really have no idea who I am. I know that I am not gay, and yet there is a part of me, who really believes that I still am. (usually just one specific part of my body that feels that way) And aside from that, I am becoming more and more unsettled at Cheeseburger In Paradice, and I think today that I most likely have destroyed that job. I had to call off, but I didnt go to the doctor, but they wont let me work again without a doctors note. So, aside from that, I have been feeling a strange lonelyness that I cant seem to escape from, no matter how many people are arround me. I know that all I need to do is press into Christ, and I will always have someone at my side, but the only problem that I am having with that is that I usually become to carnal durring the times that I have to be alone, and then I end up just feeling lonely because there is no one that I am hanging out with. Keep me in your prayers guys.

Out of the woods...for now.

So, I have come to find a clearing in my life that seems to be very calm for me right now. I am not completely sure weather or not it will last, but I know that having it in my life is very reassuring. I am happy to have friends in my life right now that I can depend on and not have to worry weather or not they will hold my mistakes against me. I had a wonderful bible study this past thursday with Lou, (the Grubby Kupp pastor). I realized that the hard times that I am going through are everywhere and that I am not the only one being subjected to them. I am very glad to have someone who I can go to who understand some of the immence temptations that are in our paths. I guess now that I can see the road before me clearly, the only thing I have left to do is walk it. I have the bread, I have the support, I have the road, now all I need is the determination that I hope I have found these past couple of nights. I am not saying it is going to be easy, but nothing I ever say seems to point to easy. All I am saying is that I won't give up, I will cling to my father in heaven, and depend on his astonishing grace to lead me to the promised land.

Becoming lost in the fog

The past couple of weeks I have been finding it excrutiatingly harder to hear the words that God may be trying to speak to me. I have been slipping quite a bit in the life that I have been trying to uphold. I wish I had some sort of release, because I see myself heading for a mental break down. It really scares me to think about, but I dont know what I can do about it.